IVF Bloat

So no I am not pregnant yet, but do I look it? Yes. My stomach the last few days has puffed out like crazy! This is a pic I took 2 days ago, you can imagine what I look like NOW! It looks like I am 4 months pregnant! I guess people call it the IVF bloat. Nice bruises, right?

A wrench is always thrown in....

Ran out of one of my shots medication tonight. Went to go take my 75 units of the Follistim and nothing came out. OH MY CRAP! We were out and we had no other vial to take more. I about had a nervous breakdown thinking that we had messed this all up and would have to start all over again. Totally started crying, which is bad lately because I cannot stop. Thankfully after 45 minutes of trying to get a hold of some doctor on call or something, got one and he told me to just doubled dosed me on one of my other shots. Bad news: It's the one that hurts the worst. Okay, at least I don't have to do this again...right??? Anyway, you can't not imagine how relieved I feel that nothing is screwed up...yet.

Yucky! Yucky! Yucky!

Is it possible to have the flu at the same time as IVF?? Wow! I feel like a truck has just hit me, backed up, ran over me again and then the driver got out and started kicking me in my stomach. This is so weird guys...thanks to my friends and family who have supported me with meals and good thoughts! The last thing I feel like doing is cooking a meal or really doing anything other than laying on the couch in a fetal position...actually, no. That would hurt my stomach. Flat...flat on my back.

OH.MY.GOSH. ...ouch!

I guess I spoke too soon....started 2 MORE shots today, if you are counting that makes a grand total of 3 shots a day folks! I have to ice my stomach first and right afterward, which makes it a little easier. But WOW it burns!! Basically sweat pants from here on out!! YOWZZA!!

Look how far we've come...

In another 2 weeks, I will be married to Mark for 5 years. I look back at all the things that have happened and in some cases it seems like so much and in others, a blink. We are arms deep into my IVF cycle, right in the middle of Invitro. The shots are annoying, but do-able. Hormones are weird, but controllable. The one thing that I know is, this man- the man of my dreams, this man who saved me, who loves me, who would do anything for me; is right there with me. How great will it be to have a little someone looking up at me with his eyes? I can hardly wait!

Weight off my shoulders!

Woke up this morning and went first to the scale. I have been, since Nov. 1st, on this P90 work out-diet routine. So far I have lost 14 pounds. Super great. I looked down and saw a few more notches gone..hmm....I ran upstairs to step on Lizzie's scale, with is digital. As I walked past her table I see an unopened letter from University of Utah addressed to me. Holy crap! I have been checking the mail for the past 2 weeks thinking THIS WILL BE THE DAY! This will be the day we get word if all our paperwork, meetings, interviews, blah, blah, blah paid off. I open the letter...

"Congratulations! The home study had been reviewed and you have final approval by the IVF Miracle Fund for one cycle of IVF to be completed by the end of October 2010."

So honestly, I have really tried to be positive about the whole thing- thinking this is all going to work, we will get approval, we will get pregnant, it will work. But I tell ya, I couldn't believe it! This is all happening, it really is. I am just so, super excited! So happy, so thrilled!

and p.s. I totally lost another 2.5 pounds! Seriously this is like the greatest day ever!!!!!

Paperwork, paperwork and MORE paperwork

I am exhausted! I feel like I am in an emotional fog...I spent 2 hours spilling my guts to a man I didn't know. There were some really great moments though. Hearing Mark say things about me or our relationship and how much he wants children. It was all just so raw and emotional. We had questions asked from "how tall are you?" to "name 3 top issues that you usually fight about". I mean it was hard. We were honest and stuff, but it was hard to have to say negative things or think of the worst memory. It was just interesting.

I am not sure if it was all just coming to a head, after waiting for so long, or relief that it was going well, or just divulging such intimate stuff, but at one point I broke down crying. The Social Worker cried too, so I guess that was a good sign??

After he was done with our combo interview, a walk through of the house and individual interviews, he gave us MORE paperwork. The process will take another 2 months to process and for us to get our final notification that we have the Miracle Fund. WOW! We started this in February and it won't be done until probably next February. What a long process! A year of putting all this paperwork together, interviews, doc appts., blood tests, poking and prodding, waiting, waiting and more waiting. It has been unbelievable!

But let me be clear, what a huge blessing! This whole thing, this whole process. We as a couple have been through so much not only in the last year, but our whole marriage- going through this difficulty- how much stronger we now are! How much closer we are! I couldn't possibly wish for anything different. It is what it is, it is our lot to go through... and it isn't so hard when you have such a wonderful partner to help you through it. Mark has been such a rock. Not to mention our added peace and comfort that our Heavenly Father knows what is going on and with our constant relationship with him through prayer and fasting that he has giving us a perspective we needed to get through this.

It isn't over yet. We still could get rejected I suppose. But I can't help but feel this will all work out.