I feel a little discouraged today. I am not sure if it is the potential that all this we are doing won't matter because we won't get chosen for the Miracle Fund or that we will get chosen and I will go through all the craziness and we won't get pregnant. Ugh! I think once you get to this point, once you have had so much hope and it gets crushed every month over and over, maybe you should expect days like this. ....hmmmm.
I wish I was totally peppy and upbeat continuously, but it just is not possible unless you are on like Prozac or something. Not on those happy pills yet.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Invitro Decision
I wanted to update you on what is going on- what happened today.
A LOT!
We went to our fertility doc who we had to go to in order to submit our names into the fund to pay for the very expensive Invitro. Holy junk guys- there is so much stuff! Once we finally pay all the little things we need to do just to submit our names (YES THERE IS MORE! Probably another $2K) and lets say we are approved, then all this other stuff has to happen.
I have to start my period, on my 3rd day I have to start taking birth control pills. Sounds like it defeats the whole purpose to get pregnant, but it is to take control of the cycle. After at least 12 days I start having to give myself a shot in the stomach every single day for 3 weeks, it is called Lupron. This is telling the body to send the follicles (immature eggs, kinda) to the ovaries and to send a lot. In the second week of taking Lupron, I need to give myself another shot on top of the Lupron, called FSH, Follicle Stimulation Hormone. This tells the follicles to mature the eggs. I take this for 10 days on top of the Lupron. During this time the doctors monitor you each day to make sure that you aren't releasing a ton of follicles (complications could make you VERY sick and making your ovaries swell immensely) There is ultrasounds and blood tests each day for like a week during this time. On the 11th day from starting the FSH the doctors decide if you are ready for the egg retrieval. If they decide you are ready, you stop taking the FSH and Lupron that day. The next day, which is the 12th day after starting FSH they dope you up so much that you are out of it, so they can take the eggs out. They go into your ovaries and go into each follicle and suck out the eggs. I guess it is VERY painful without the drugs. The two weeks prior to the retrieval the male takes 2 pills daily, called Doxy. On the retrieval day the woman starts taking progesterone by a shot in the hip muscle. It is so painful that you are unable to do it yourself, your husband has to do it for you. You take progesterone for 2 1/2 weeks. YIKES!
They take all the eggs that were taken out and fertilize all. After the 5th day, the embryos are evaluated, many will die and will not be adequate. The 2 strongest they will implant into the woman. You can freeze any other strong eggs to use at a later date- this is ideal because you don't have to do all the past 4 weeks of hormonal crap.
17 days after the egg retrieval you should do a pregnancy test. You can also stop the progesterone shots.
I never knew any of this stuff- had no idea that it was so invasive, so unsure and so in depth.
Another thing we found out, if there are 2 embryos implanted there is a bigger chance for babies that are smaller, early delivery and possible birth defects (wide range) they don't know why that is, but with doing Invitro this possibility is obviously higher. When there is only one, the chances of birth defects are less and more of a possibility for a normal pregnancy.
So I left information with the Fund lady so hopefully that ball will get rolling so we can know if I get to go through all of this!
Oh boy!...or girl, or boy and girl...hahahahaha
A LOT!
We went to our fertility doc who we had to go to in order to submit our names into the fund to pay for the very expensive Invitro. Holy junk guys- there is so much stuff! Once we finally pay all the little things we need to do just to submit our names (YES THERE IS MORE! Probably another $2K) and lets say we are approved, then all this other stuff has to happen.
I have to start my period, on my 3rd day I have to start taking birth control pills. Sounds like it defeats the whole purpose to get pregnant, but it is to take control of the cycle. After at least 12 days I start having to give myself a shot in the stomach every single day for 3 weeks, it is called Lupron. This is telling the body to send the follicles (immature eggs, kinda) to the ovaries and to send a lot. In the second week of taking Lupron, I need to give myself another shot on top of the Lupron, called FSH, Follicle Stimulation Hormone. This tells the follicles to mature the eggs. I take this for 10 days on top of the Lupron. During this time the doctors monitor you each day to make sure that you aren't releasing a ton of follicles (complications could make you VERY sick and making your ovaries swell immensely) There is ultrasounds and blood tests each day for like a week during this time. On the 11th day from starting the FSH the doctors decide if you are ready for the egg retrieval. If they decide you are ready, you stop taking the FSH and Lupron that day. The next day, which is the 12th day after starting FSH they dope you up so much that you are out of it, so they can take the eggs out. They go into your ovaries and go into each follicle and suck out the eggs. I guess it is VERY painful without the drugs. The two weeks prior to the retrieval the male takes 2 pills daily, called Doxy. On the retrieval day the woman starts taking progesterone by a shot in the hip muscle. It is so painful that you are unable to do it yourself, your husband has to do it for you. You take progesterone for 2 1/2 weeks. YIKES!
They take all the eggs that were taken out and fertilize all. After the 5th day, the embryos are evaluated, many will die and will not be adequate. The 2 strongest they will implant into the woman. You can freeze any other strong eggs to use at a later date- this is ideal because you don't have to do all the past 4 weeks of hormonal crap.
17 days after the egg retrieval you should do a pregnancy test. You can also stop the progesterone shots.
I never knew any of this stuff- had no idea that it was so invasive, so unsure and so in depth.
Another thing we found out, if there are 2 embryos implanted there is a bigger chance for babies that are smaller, early delivery and possible birth defects (wide range) they don't know why that is, but with doing Invitro this possibility is obviously higher. When there is only one, the chances of birth defects are less and more of a possibility for a normal pregnancy.
So I left information with the Fund lady so hopefully that ball will get rolling so we can know if I get to go through all of this!
Oh boy!...or girl, or boy and girl...hahahahaha
Monday, March 30, 2009
What a miracle
I am not kidding- God loves me. Amazingly we found out about this company called the Miracle Fund who helps people who can't afford to pay for Invitro, pay completely for it. Can you believe that? You have to meet certain criteria and I guess there are hoops you have to jump through, but dang! It is totally worth it!
I am not sure if we will be chosen or accepted for this fund but just to have hope, that is just unbelievable.
I am not sure if we will be chosen or accepted for this fund but just to have hope, that is just unbelievable.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
And the winner is....
With trying to be proactive we thought we should do everything we could to get pregnant before we had our last option, Invitro.
SOOOOOO we decided to try Artificial Insemination. I had to take ovulation tests starting on my 10th day after the 1st day of my last period. Geez, that sounds weird. Anyway, so by the 17th day I finally got a positive reading. Now the ovulation test doesn't say you are ovulating that day; if you get a positive reading, it means you will be ovulation within the next 24-36 hours. You need to call your Andrology lab as soon as you get that positive reading and they will set up and appointment for the next day.
My husband had to go first, and going first means exactly what you think it means. I at least was able to be with him this time. I don't think he was as embarrassed as the first time. Then about an hour later we went back and they stick this J like syringe, filled with the concentrated sperm, into your who-ha and through the cervix, which looks like a donut. They inject it in and you lay on the table for like 10 minutes afterwards.
I swear to you I thought that it was going to work. Everything in our lives were so put together perfectly, it was just totally the best time.
When I started my period I will totally admit that I was so stickin' mad. So, so, so mad. What the heck!??! I would be a great freakin' mom, why can't this just work!!???!! Unless you have gone through the hope of thinking you are pregnant and sitting on that toliet and seeing that you started, it is like your breath is taken away, the world means nothing at that moment. What the heck are we supposed to do now?
I mean 10 grand might as well be a million dollars. Seriously.
SOOOOOO we decided to try Artificial Insemination. I had to take ovulation tests starting on my 10th day after the 1st day of my last period. Geez, that sounds weird. Anyway, so by the 17th day I finally got a positive reading. Now the ovulation test doesn't say you are ovulating that day; if you get a positive reading, it means you will be ovulation within the next 24-36 hours. You need to call your Andrology lab as soon as you get that positive reading and they will set up and appointment for the next day.
My husband had to go first, and going first means exactly what you think it means. I at least was able to be with him this time. I don't think he was as embarrassed as the first time. Then about an hour later we went back and they stick this J like syringe, filled with the concentrated sperm, into your who-ha and through the cervix, which looks like a donut. They inject it in and you lay on the table for like 10 minutes afterwards.
I swear to you I thought that it was going to work. Everything in our lives were so put together perfectly, it was just totally the best time.
When I started my period I will totally admit that I was so stickin' mad. So, so, so mad. What the heck!??! I would be a great freakin' mom, why can't this just work!!???!! Unless you have gone through the hope of thinking you are pregnant and sitting on that toliet and seeing that you started, it is like your breath is taken away, the world means nothing at that moment. What the heck are we supposed to do now?
I mean 10 grand might as well be a million dollars. Seriously.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Consultation with Fertility Doc
So we found this great doctor- he had helped a few friends of mine that had other issues and they both have had healthy babies. He said we had a few options, one better than the other. One is Artificial Insemination. This only would up our chances of getting pregnant the natural way by only a few percentage points. We could try it but he seemed pretty doubtful that it would work. It was leaps and bounds cheaper than Invitro, which by the way was our other options. There is NO WAY we could come up with $10,000 to pay for this procedure. And after barely just paying off the $4,000 emergency bill for a miscarriage, thinking about paying that amount of money and possibly NOT getting pregnant didn't sit well with me.
The Doc said that with our situation, our best option is Invitro. Can you say punch in the gut 5 times fast?
So we had some decisions to make.
The Doc said that with our situation, our best option is Invitro. Can you say punch in the gut 5 times fast?
So we had some decisions to make.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Wasting time
I suck, let me just get that out right now. I like to stick my head in the sand when problems come my way. I kept thinking that we will just get pregnant when we are "supposed to". At least that is the line you are supposed to say to everyone when they give you that look, you know the one; the "oh poor little dried up uterus that can't have babies" look. So for 2 years we did NOTHING. I mean, we had sex of course- but no doctors, no fertility stuff, nothing. You see what I mean when I say head in the sand now, right?
I keep saying that we just weren't ready. I don't know, maybe we were- if we ended up getting pregnant I am sure we would have gotten our crap together, figured it out- but really I just didn't want to face the truth that our lives were not going to be as easy in this department as everyone else.
So we have just been wasting time. Wasting time thinking the problem would fix itself. Praying that it would just happen without any special or expensive things we had to do.
Man, I was so retarded.
I keep saying that we just weren't ready. I don't know, maybe we were- if we ended up getting pregnant I am sure we would have gotten our crap together, figured it out- but really I just didn't want to face the truth that our lives were not going to be as easy in this department as everyone else.
So we have just been wasting time. Wasting time thinking the problem would fix itself. Praying that it would just happen without any special or expensive things we had to do.
Man, I was so retarded.
Friday, January 2, 2009
A night at the Olive Garden
I went to my OBGYN and she suggested that my husband go and get his sperm tested. She mentioned that when women have a early miscarriage sometimes it can be tracked back to the male sperm. Ha, another thing I didn't know.
So picture this, my husband goes to the "bow-chicka-bow-wow" room- him mortified, trying to be as quiet as possible and understands that afterwards he has to put his, ah, gift, in this cabinet in the wall that opens on the other side where people take the ...present. So he gets all ready, turns off the light and super quietly puts the cup in the dispenser and hi-tailed it out of there. Men are so funny; women lay on a table, spread eagle- naked, with people poking and sticking things in you...and they are afraid of one little donation. No wonder women are the only ones able to have kids. Men would whine at us until we took it from them to do it.
Ah and then the results....there we sat at the Olive Garden, on our anniversary no doubt and we get the great news; immobility, poor and low count. G-R-E-A-T.
So picture this, my husband goes to the "bow-chicka-bow-wow" room- him mortified, trying to be as quiet as possible and understands that afterwards he has to put his, ah, gift, in this cabinet in the wall that opens on the other side where people take the ...present. So he gets all ready, turns off the light and super quietly puts the cup in the dispenser and hi-tailed it out of there. Men are so funny; women lay on a table, spread eagle- naked, with people poking and sticking things in you...and they are afraid of one little donation. No wonder women are the only ones able to have kids. Men would whine at us until we took it from them to do it.
Ah and then the results....there we sat at the Olive Garden, on our anniversary no doubt and we get the great news; immobility, poor and low count. G-R-E-A-T.
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